Batman and Robin (1997) - Movie Review

It's ironic really that one of the only Batman movies that doesn't feature the Joker is naught but a big joke - and whilst it has its moments; this is seriously disappointing stuff from the man who brought us The Lost Boys. Batman and Robin is laughably poor, and I mean that in the most literal sense imaginable. I honestly couldn't control my bursts of hysterics when it came to some of the cheesier and most cringe-worthy moments. I'm not going to lie, the cast is pretty solid, but they all seem as though they're in the complete wrong movie. Most of those actors in like an all-stars film or something, is something I'd be interested to see. I'll talk more about this later, but really the casting is one area that is a particular downfall as far as Batman movies go. Looking back on my list of pros and cons, I was hugely surprised by the incredible amount of positive things I had written down about this movie, considering my overall impressions. I knew I'd been writing them as I went a long, and so obviously wasn't completely keeping track of everything I put, because I was trying to concentrate on the film at the same time. It was only when I realised that at least five of my pros had the words 'Alicia' and 'Silverstone' in them, that it started making sense. In all fairness though, you can't blame me.

So the plotline. My question is: what plotline? There definitely is one, but it's so confused, random and complex that even I couldn't cope. I mean hell, I understood what was happening, but I didn't have a clue Why it was happening. It was all just a hapless mishmash of completely unrelated sub-plots that apparently are somehow connected; yet this is in the craziest, most non-sensical ways imaginable. Somehow every single one of these manic and ridiculous plot-threads is geniously interwoven. I have to say, the writer deserves props for that, because it would have taken either a total genius, or a complete off-the-wall, asylum-bound retard to piece the puzzle together quite the way they did. Then again, simply watching this film makes you feel like a complete off-the-wall, asylum-bound retard, so I guess in that respect it really does capture the true spirit of Batman.

Back on the subject of the cast, I think they could've done worse, but as I said, they don't really scream out BATMAAAAAAAN. George Clooney and Arnold Schwarzenegger are on usual ass-kicking meets great acting form; Chris O'Donnell plays the whiny little bitch well; Uma Thurman is a little over the top (I mean I know Poison Ivy is meant to be over the top, but in some places she just takes it a bit too far); and Alicia Silverstone is... Alicia Silverstone. Nuff said. However I did have some problems with the cast other than the Poison Ivy bit I mentioned: Commissioner Gordon just doesn't seem right;  Mr Freeze won't stop spouting one-liners and puns, which I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad one; and although George Clooney makes a decent Batman, some segments just take the 'family friendly' nature of the movie a bit too far, with such infamous moments as the bat credit card scene just being overly cheesy. I don't know/care who plays Bane, but the overall look, and performance just sucks. I'm just gonna lay it down, no fluff... it sucks. Although thankfully, this movie can say that it has John Glover in its cast (which it does), which, although his appearance is lamentably brief, is sort of a saving grace. Seeing Lionel Luthor (Smallville) in yet another comic related thing is awesome. Another thing that got me is: when did Barbara Gordon become Barbara Pennyworth?
 
That was my main problem with this movie: the sheer 'cheese factor'. Some of the fight-scenes were just far too badly done, although there is a fairly decent fight with Bane near the end. Most of the fighting just isn't that well choreographed in my opinion, and just enhances the overall cheesiness.One particular scene that really got to me was the one right at the beginning where Mr Freeze is stealing the diamond from the museum. The whole hockey thing. Just didn't impress me, and it really didn't give me a good impression of what was to come, although it does adequately set the tone for the rest of the movie. I must say Poison Ivy and Mr Freeze's escape from Arkham is fairly epic, and that part actually did impress me. Another thing that didn't though, were some of the sound effects. The cartoony *phwiiiiiing*, and such really don't fit with the rest of the movie, and the tone it's trying to set. I mean, as far as I'm aware, this movie is actually trying to take itself seriously - amazingly. So the cartoon style sound effects just don't work.

The music was decent, true Batman type stuff, although  Danny Elfman's scores will always take the forefront in my mind.

Overall, this movie was better than I'd expected. I'd heard some really awful things about it, and whereas it really is a poor piece of cinema, I don't quite think the hate is entirely warranted. Some parts of the story are actually pretty good, and the end is really quite touching... and then they ruin it by doing a slow-mo run with capes billowing in the wind. THE END WAS GOING SO WELL. I was like, thank God it's ditched what has been an ever present feature in this movie to revert to some traditional story-telling... oh no wait, Batman, Robin and Batgirl running, spotlit in slow-motion, their capes blowing behind them. What a way to spoil the end of a movie! Couldn't they have just rolled the freaking credits? Either way, this film is bad, but still not something that's complete bargain bin trash.